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11/16/2011

Hands, Laughing, and Peace

My wife Lisa and I tried this out recently when we got in a fight, and it worked like a charm.

At the advice of Zig Ziglar, we held hands while we were fighting.

The fight didn’t last long. We started laughing pretty quickly.

Other benefits:

  • we were forced to look at each other
  • we were forced to not ignore each other
  • we were forced to listen before speaking
  • we were forced to be have to be seen

Oh, and our issue got resolved.

It’s foolish to say, “yeah, just hold hands and everything will always work out.” But, I can tell you that the discipline has helped us.

When were able to touch those who hurt us… when we’re able to touch those we are hurting, the “ok-ness” of hurting decreases. Of course, you first have to love the “other” and be committed to their well-being.

But here’s my question: is it possible to hold hands more often with those with whom we’re fighting? Can we align our interests more often? Can we let someone else’s pain also cause us pain?

When we do, behavior and decisions change. Relationships grow deeper. And, the feuding parties are like Lisa and me, you might start giggling. And then laughing.

You’re not just laughing it off. You’re laughing. Together.

P.S. I should also note that the very act of getting married involves facing each other, holding hands. Seems like a precursor to what should be a familiar posture in any relationship of mutual-commitment. It’s hard to do though, isn’t it?

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